What social media and markets have in common?

I spend my Sunday browsing through Sarojini market. My only day off.  A much cherished day of my week and a little bit of time for just me. Nobody else.  But I spend my Sunday browsing the market because two friends wanted to shop. And I like them, so I spend time with them.

Sarojini is amazing, stalls seemingly around every corner.  Enough ice cream for the masses – and yes, the masses loves ice cream in this heat. Great bargains and weird people, so overall, definitely a good bet. 

However, Sarojini comes with the best part of the delhi population on a Sunday.  Enough people to make any reasonable person doubt whether there will be anything left to buy.  Whether you’re looking for underwear, saree’s, shoes, clothing or accessories – you’ll find it.  Chances of them running out of stock – slim. 

The afternoon sun baked on my arms as we walked in.  A pretty hot 38 degrees on this sunny summer’s day.  But if you can carry a 20kg backpack, haggle for your late night ride home and eat food whose name you can’t pronounce- you can survive the market. Right?!

We work our way through the aisles of the market. Up and down.  Push, chat, no, please leave now, you want to look at that?  A couple of hrs later, the heat had gotten the best of us and we walked into a shoe store, because they had air-con.  Yes, we did that. Completely unashamed.

Hours later, I had brought starry scarfes, bangles and a beautiful leather bag.  Serious strategies were followed to get the bag: haggle, walk away, return, not looking happy, budgeting – we did all of it.  The smell of the bag, now makes the effort completely worth it.

Hot, tired, over it and completely happy we sank into a booth at a restaurant much later.  They shopped: gifts, scarfs, more leather bags, shirts and loads of water. 

Our conclusion – amazing day, but its emotionally exhausting pushing through the crowd to see everything, keeping track of team members (yes – otherwise they disappear!), haggling your way to a decent price and pushing off all of the unwanted sunglasses/ watches/ belts that gets pushed into your face.

Much like social media…

You have to engage with others to have the returned effect on your blog/ wall/ photo… Whatever.  When it was only facebook, it was easier.  Now you have to maintain your own profile, one for friends and one for business networking, one for photos, one for words, one for the man on the moon. 

It becomes work to seem interesting, knowledgeable and (somehow) still yourself – although a better version on all of these platforms.  Its an art of knowing when to tag, vent, keep quiet.  Share, relate, perform, be, produce.   

How come we have to spend so much energy being likeable on a platform? And since whatever you say/ do on any of these platforms will be there forever – forgetting someone, nope.  Not that easy either.

The one you’ll never forget

You know those days that just. won’t. end. 

Those days that seems like a waste of energy, make up, effort and normally results in a glass of wine.  Or wanting to climb back into bed.  I had one of those weeks, except I don’t have wine, cannot vent to anybody and found the situation just getting worse despite my best efforts.   And yet, within the madness, the crazy working days and relentless heat I found a little moment of kindness.

The first one I remember happened in Swaziland.  I had taken the weekend off to meet friends in Swaziland and crossed the border just before dark that night.  Being in a strange country, I got lost and finally pulled off the road to get my bearings while sitting with the map on my lap.  A pickup pulled over just behind me, a lady jumped off, running to ask me if I’m ok and if she can help… Actually, I just drove past the turn-off, she directed me and watched until she saw me reach my hostel.

Such a simple gesture, and yet at that point, meant the world to me. I’d been driving for five hours. It was my first weekend off in seven months and I was still trying to deal with the death of my father. 

Yesterday I found a strange gesture of kindness in the mad city of Delhi. Don’t get me wrong – I like cities, I like the vibe, the lifelines of it all and the dreams people come to cities with.  Delhi, however, is another story – pretty amazing, but you have to spend some getting to understand it.

After the shoot, I made my way outside to find an auto.  It’s 11 at night, the time everybody warned me against. Everybody: my flat mate, my landlord, colleagues, friends – everybody warned to take care at night. Not to go out after 10pm and if so, not to travel alone.  Delhi, unfortunately does come with a reputation.

The camera crew was 5min behind me and finally helped me find an auto.  There is a weird relationship within a crew – we trust each other with our lives.  While they are busy discussing it, a couple asked me whether I knew them and if I need help.  Kind, but firm.  Clearly knowing the reputation the city has and how it feels to be new in a city. 

I smiled, I’ve been here seven weeks.  It’s the one I’ll never forget.