Tiny

I grasped as my friend told me over email that she was expecting. My heart sat in my throat as I thought back to the first day we met. 

She was 18 and had moved to the Big City with her best friend, to study. 

I love her like a little sister. I worry about her like a big sister would.  

She is having a little girl.  A little tiny human, which will eventually grow up to be a fully-grown human. 

I got teary eyed when she messaged me with the news that they could see the brain, the spinal cord, intestines and the three veins feeding her., in the last scan.  A miracle.

A little tiny miracle, so beautifully woven together.  And since I just jpassed High school Biology, I cannot remember all the ins &outs, but I remember even at 17 being amazed at how many things come into play with a pregnancy.

Its at a time like this that I cannot help but believe in God. 

My God creates life the size of a bean.

Today

Today I am hopeful. Hopeful for my dream to come true, hopeful to see the world one day and hopeful for everyone who isn’t.  Earlier in the week I wasn’t hopeful, I was thinking about what it would be like when I’d finally be able to walk away: on my sitting couch, with incense in the background – I must admit, I’ve thought about it so often, I have it all planned out: with lists, action plans & budgets. 

But that night I received a message from a close friend of mine, a picture of her & her husband with a blackboard which had the message: ‘now it’s the three of us’.  My heart skipped a beat.

They’ve been trying to conceive for a long time, like a really really long time.  She gave up her favourite dessert wine from Stellenbosch – which is fantastic and can only be brought on the wine farm - to give her body the best chance to become a mother.  It didn’t happen, even after tests, doctor visits and fertility treatment.  I called my mother right away, as my mother & I have been praying for her.  My mother prays.  She prays every morning, on her knees, like the picture we all know from the children’s Bible.  She prays with dedication, love and honesty. She never stops praying.  And we prayed for Lisa to become a mother.  It happened.

I realised that miracles happen, long after we expect them to.  Long after we’ve made our plans.  For Lisa & her husband it’s a miracle, but for me it’s a sign to not give up hope.  To still believe.

To be hopeful that when I get to walk away it will be to something great: for happiness, for adventure, for my heart and with the enthusiasm of an 8 year old.